i never understood why i still in a good situation for a long period then suddenly i become so sad ;i can't describe my feelings;  like i'm an alien ! ;i can't tell any one what happens with me ;i just start  in being angry all the  time ,so nervous, and  liking the silence; not really but; i hate talking a lot with people; they disturb me; they make me worst ;so i like listening to a  music; with a high level; like i'm doing now ,or writing because i see that it's one of the best solutions  , yes! because if i don't ; i will become more wounded ;and i don't want this ,i never like this moments; when i hate in them my self ;my life, the world and every thing, i hate when i wish that i die; when i wish that i can suicide ; when  my  dream become to have a shotgun  and  use it to finish my pain , i really hate this moments ; and i hope  that they don't still us a part of my memories ,i abhor  the idea of living the rest of my life with a broken heart without having any thing to do   ,i dislike that others  look at me like i am some one weak looking  for  their help , damn them ! ; i am sure that one day they will be a reason for my loss , they will be  the  cause why i fall down ; so i really hate them with their world 

i wish that i stop hurting my self , and taking care about others , that  i become like them; a devil never think about the others feelings  ,i hope they still far from me , that i don't meet any one of this twisters , that i forget all of them , but never forgive  ! because i don 't love any one ; all what happen in my past i will forget it , and i will throw any one away from my life if i see that he has the same effect  ,like the last ones ;

so my last hope will be that  in future i can know the truth of everyone ;before i leave him  in , that i can know the real from the fake 

i wish the bad luck for all my haters and this people who injure me a lot;i hope that they meet a deceivers like them , and that they live what they leave me live it , and   i'm completley broken pained and injured ,so i wish the worst moments and life for you and that i can see you crying and broken to a lot of pieces and no one help you  ,that you will be hurted ; because you are a devils ;and that's what you deserve ;