The device is not working

The chimes ring like a chime, its successive and repetitive echoes ring in my ears ...and the echo keeps returning with its stormy winds and the seas of storms rippling at the bottom of my ears, and those damned beats rise in the bottom of my ears, as if I was struck ... reminding me of the date ... To silence the voice This damned alarm and mute the hammer of those beats that put me between the hammer and the anvil ... Both things are bad ... both things are blurry .. ???? It is the appointment of this reformer .... And my appointment with my confusion and torture ... Should I ask for it. Do I call him? Or do I just tolerate that and leave the device malfunctioning? What would harm him if he was left idle? Maybe it would be better for him? Perhaps his work and his movement in which his agony and torment? Isn't he comfortable like that? However, he does not make an effort ... maybe he needs a leave? But how long will that leave be? Is it a break and continue? Or is it his infinite rest ........ Or is it better for me to contact this dull, insensitive reformer, and the questions keep creeping and wandering in my mind as if they were a mirage without end ... Questions without answers ... He is as cold as a statue, hollow as an idol Deaf steadfast ... the device hardly fixes until it fails again ... it is repairer, failed .. failed .. even when the device in his hands is damaged often .. but they praise him a lot and say and say many and many about it .. I always heard stories On him from my relatives and acquaintances, and even from my grandmother, about his skills that a father inherited from a grandfather and that his grandparents were brilliant and that he must drink from his manufacture and learn the pain ..

And I laughed a lot .. I laughed in my mouth .. Mastering

!!! About any mastery they talk about and fill their mouth day and night by talking about his art, his ability and the importance of his presence in every home to fix what has been spoiled by time ... !!!! I had heard them for a long time, and their words were gnawing like a licorice in my ears and creeping inwardly, but I could hardly believe them, even the whistles from within me, and a wave flared up in the sea of doubts in their words, so their praise turned upside down and the wave was thrown away from the bottom of my deep To my chastity, far from my thinking. .I did not believe them one day .. but I lied to myself and blamed my feeling of being rejected for you and their praise for you. .and the waves of doubt took me and threw me to the shore of oblivion ... ... and I said to try, maybe you are Maher ... and I asked you so I came and knocked on my door with Happy

or so it seemed and appeared to my ears, maybe because I wanted to hear it

Also. .and then I entered, I quietly approached me and in my turn, I offered you my device hoping to fix it, and my hands shook while carrying the device as if it were a traveler carrying his weights as he was crossing the longest distances ... It was the first time that I felt it for that short distance !! !! What stood between you and me as I approached you and my body trembled in my hands as if it was a little child crying so as not to offer it as an offering to God .. He cries and pleads with me I hope I don't ... I didn't know that this long, short distance was so good. !!! It seemed to me as if it was the distance from the earth from space ... and the planting distance from the time of the rain of the sky !!! For the first time, I feel that the half a meter or less is so close to my eyes !!!! ... it dived deep inside and dived inside me presenting the device to you while you eagerly extended both hands Hungry for food and the mute longing for words. I grabbed it and happiness knocked at the door of my heart. .My broken device will work again, and I will be happy. ... the awful wait and how heavy it is Whoever waits .... What is the burden of waiting for those who wait for light at the end of the dark tunnel. .and what burdens it on the shoulders of those waiting for news that removes the darkness and darkness of life ...! Rather, what is ugly for those waiting for an imaginary love ... and my feeling inside me has suffocated, announcing About his holding his breath and begging me to release those breaths ... maybe I was the one who made the waiting box and I was the one who locked myself inside it and the hours are still sluggish with its minutes and seconds ... and I wait for you and I I ponder you at first, passion was racing to my heart and knocking on a gasp door, then the sound of its knocking faded slowly until I could hardly hear it .. and it faded features like an old picture on which time ate and drank .. toast to victory .. the victory of the hours of boredom and the number of times yawning. Protect with eagerness and desire .. .. until everything is immortalized to sleep… eternal sleep .. no waking in it .. all this and that and I see you playing with my device in your hands like an idiot in Foolishness and dullness and turning it between your fingers .. you take out all the tools and equipment and you move them to the right and left, but without interest, until they are like a knife in the hand of a fool or an imbecile, instead of peeling food with it and preparing it, whoever happens to be killed while running in the streets and the knife drips blood in his hand and the number of dead increases .. And I I am crying out and wondering who is holding this fool? ... and then I got tight and the box in which I locked myself became smaller I am getting smaller and the vision is weaker. .I can no longer stand .. and the trick has become impossible ... All this while I resist the sound of my struggle that deactivates my ears ... I have patience with you and I know your bet was broken. .and I give you one chance after another ... Whenever you tell me that the device is fine And sound and he works, then suddenly I find it disrupts me again and again ... and I tell myself it is okay, maybe misuse of me .. and they tell me that. Also .. that instead of blaming you, they blame me .. I am always wrong I am the one who misuses the device. .I am the one who rushes things ... I am and I am ... I always am ... you do not blame you ... you are the clever reformer you are passed down from generation to generation ... How do you make mistakes ... but you are honest in their view of That. .I am the one who has to bear all the consequences and all the losses .. You are nothing to do with you .. Rather, you have done me a favor for your coming and coming ... and your kindness has increased and expanded more and more please whenever you come again and again to fix what you have spoiled with your hand .. and to reap I did not harvest it ... but in their eyes you are a daring fighter ... and I am patient, and I swallow from the cups of patience one cup after the other until the bitter bitterness of patience burned the walls of my gut and ignited the fire until I turned it into wildfire and debris ... and it is enough for me, Lord of the fires, that you betrayed the eagerness that extinguished the embers of minutes ... I had to get out of that frame in which I locked myself in ... and at that time I was amazed to see the outside and was more astonished when I missed while I was waiting in front of you waiting How many days, months and years have I lost in my life while I waited ... without any benefit ... how much I regret the time that has passed and wasted in the sinkhole of my patience with you ... life is synonymous with will As for the waiting box or the way of light .. I have chosen the light away from your complete darkness ... which damages my device instead of fixing it

They are my feelings and my feelings .. It is not a game in your hands .. I have destroyed it a lot in the past ... And now it is time for you to leave ... My device belongs to me alone .. and my feeling belongs to me .. It may be spoiled by your stupidity and stubbornness ... So excuse me Repairman .. And sorry man .. I have made my decision .. I will not hand over my device to you to tamper with it again ... You will not come this time .. I will not allow you to enter the inside again .. I can no longer only The choice and the differentiation between my unhappiness and my broken device, and between my freedom and my will ... And now I have chosen my path and I will walk in it far away from you ... The device can no longer bear more damage thanks to you .. You say wait until I come .. so how do you tell me I am waiting for you? .. And I have not returned I know that your steps have taken place. .since I left you no matter what matters to me ... I have mine if you betrayed or died ... Only letdown alone taught me to dispense with you ... I became overly afraid I predict the impact of his steps coming towards me. .you are the one who taught me that. .I am your creation. .and I am the product of your experiences ... so that the disappointment taught me to dispense with you. .thank you, thorns, for you taught me ... you are a brilliant teacher. .and I have just forgotten to make you watch. ... I just became refusing to tell you ... and too busy to remind you ... How hard it is for someone who knows the truth alone ... They did not believe me .. they stopped All of them were against me in a battle .. they set up a court for me .. in which I was the opponent and the referee.! .. Do not think that this came easily .. It came after a thousand fights in my mind and a thousand fractures in my device, which your hands destroyed until the feeling and feeling became worn out and exhausted. Their blood that flowed in a battle against oblivion ... forgetting what you corrupted and destroyed you ... and I used to say That also ... that instead of blaming you, they blame me ... I am always at fault .. I am the one who misuses the device ... I am the one who rushes things ... it is me and me ... I am always me ... You do not blame you .. You are the skilled reformer, passed down from generation to generation ... How do you make mistakes ... Rather, in their view you are honest about that ... and I am the one who has to bear all the consequences and all the losses ... you are nothing on you ... but you have done me a favor by your coming your coming ... and increasing Your favor and magnification, please more as you come again and again to fix what you corrupted by your hand ... and reap what you have reaped ... But in their view you are a fighter I was daring ... and I was patient. And I swallowed from the cups of patience one cup after another until the bitter bitterness of patience burned the walls of my guts and ignited the fire with them until I turned them into wildfire and debris ... and it is enough for me, Lord of the fires, that you betrayed the eagerness to extinguish the embers of minutes ... and I had to get out of that frame In which I locked myself in it ... and then I was amazed to see the outside and was more amazed when I missed it while I was sitting in front of you waiting for what you would enjoy and what your unique genius will bring in ... in fixing the device! ... How many days, months and years have been lost of my life while I wait ... without benefit .. How many I am sorry for the time that has passed and wasted in the sinkhole of my patience with you .. it is life that is generous with will .. As for the waiting box or the path of light .. I have chosen the light away from your complete darkness ... which damages my system instead of fixing it ... It is my feelings and my feelings. ..It is not a game with your hands .. I have damaged it a lot in the past ... and now the time has come for you to leave ... my device belongs to me alone ... and my feeling belongs to me ... it may be spoiled by your stupidity and stubbornness ... so pardon, repairman ... and sorry Oh man ... I have made up my mind ... I will not hand over my device to you to manipulate it again ... You will not come this time .. I will not allow you to enter the inside again .. I can no longer choose and choose between my unhappiness and my broken device and between my freedom And my will ... and now I have chosen my path and will walk far away from you ... the device can no longer take any more damage thanks to you. You say wait until I come ... so how can you tell me to wait for you? ... and I no longer know that your steps have taken place. .since I left you, the matter no longer concerns me ... a man I have if you betrayed or died ... Only lethargy alone taught me to dispense with you ... you have become From my excessive fear of predicting his steps coming towards me. .you are the one who taught me that .. I made you. .and I am the results of your experiments ... until the disappointment taught me to dispense with you. .thank you to the thorns, for you taught me ... you are a brilliant teacher. .and I just became forgetful To keep you watch ... I just became refusing to shed .. too busy to remind you .. How hard it is for someone who knows the truth alone ... They did not believe me .. They all stood against me in a battle .. they set up a court for me .. I was in it The opponent and the referee.! .. Do not think that this came easily .. It came after a thousand battles in my mind and a thousand thousand fractures in my device, which your hands destroyed until the feeling became Feelings are worn out, and from it they were stirring in their blood that flowed in a battle against forgetfulness. .for forgetting what you corrupted and destroyed you. .and I always said it was okay ... No while it was all right here in my worn out feeling with your grace ... But I will sew my wound with my own hands. ..I have realized that any other hand that will extend to my wounds will increase my pain. It will not heal it .. I am the one who will repair the device myself ... I am the best repairer .. My device is different from other devices. Or rather the others .. They may always need the repairman who deafened their ears by talking about it long ago ... But I have learned that my device can only fix me and that my spines will not uproot it except my hands ... I differ from the others, I do not need you like it .. You in my opinion and I had a failed repairer ... You did not fix even the simplest faults ... but increased their damage and malfunctions ... perhaps They carry you ... maybe I will be patient with you. Maybe your idiot and your birth will suit them ... or maybe it is no longer relevant to them. .Your presence between them is enough and it is enough ... As for me ... I prefer to leave my device disabled on a comfortable vacation rather than letting me suffer in your hands .. This is better for me and for you. .Perhaps he will take a relaxation or less recreation on his vacation, perhaps for a period of time that is long or short ... What is important is his rest on his vacation and a vacation on his vacation .... one needs us to relax and disable all his senses if possible Time is from everything around it and everyone around it ... Likewise, my device is a vibrant mass of feeling, feeling, and nerves ,,, the nerves that have affected or nearly damaged them had I not realized them in the last moments

And now I just look from above at everyone. My device is in my hand .. I am in control of it .. in sending and receiving it. I am now in his rest and on his vacation. He is relaxing .. He does not wait except for my hands alone. She is the one who can understand him .. ... and she is the one who realizes inside and outside him, his money and what is on him ... what he wants and what he does not want ... I see you all from above .. you look at me in amazement and complicate your mouths ... I alone see you from far away and I am in the company of my only device ,, what wonderful The vision from above is very different ... I see you and laugh at you in full. I see your equipment broken down ,,, broken off from everything, and despite that you leave it in the hands of the repairman who has always disappointed your hopes for reform and broken your aspirations

In success on the threshold of his hands that destroyed your broken devices and is between his jaws that shattered dreams before the bones ... And here I am closing my door in your face, repairer ... My master will not enter again, I have learned the lesson and I am the one who will repair my device myself and with my own free will .... And I closed the door behind me while I caught my breath after talking to him .. and I stood behind the closed door, contemplating the place after his departure. A homeland for the tired and tormented soul ... and some may think that loneliness is in keeping away from people ... rather loneliness is all about being surrounded by people, people, or the wrong person ... so for give me If I retire from you ... the pain has changed me ,, rather numbed me ... so that I became less confident ... I think more ... and be isolated longer ...

Written by / Manal Khalil

Dr.Gilgamesh has left a new comment on the post "قصص قصيرة وبعض الصور لي أقصد   اقول  أن  د  جلجامش قبل  إعتذاري  وتأسّفي  له  بكل  سعاااادة  وترحيب بي .":

مودّتي .. د. كلكامش

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Posted by Dr.Gilgamesh  أوقات مختلسة at December 7, 2020 at 1:36 PM